Father's day and Grad Party

Our Father's Day celebration started out with brunch at the Marriott hotel in Long Beach followed by party time in LA with Rolando's side of the family. I brought along my paints for my niece but, ended up painting the whole party LOL! I think next time I'll double check to see who's coming first. Naw, I love what I do so it was all good fun to me.

Last day of school

My little Christian had a great school year with an amazing teacher. Mr. Sakely really was an awesome teacher. He was a substitute for Christian's teacher who was pregnant and went out on maternity leave. This year was a big change from last year with Ms. Woo. yikes! That was not so good.
I'm looking forward to next year and so is Christian.

Kinder graduation

This year has flown bye so quickly. Seems like just yesterday Gracie was on her way to starting Kindergarten. Now she'll be starting school as a first grader in the fall. Oh I don't like this getting older bit!

Here she is the first month of school winning the student of the month award for citizenship.

These are the pics from her graduation ceremony and party. She has grown so much in a year.

I just love this sweet little monkey so much!

Gracies first Birthday

We are such bad parents. When it comes to throwing birthday bashes that is. My poor little princess has never had a big birthday party. I guess that's what happens when you are the third child. Josh had 5 big parties, Christian only had 1 and finally at age 6 Grace has had hers. Here are some picsa from the day in May even though her birthday is in the fall.

 

This was the best day ever is what she said to me after it was all done! I'm so happy she'll actually be able to remember it all.

Happy Birthday Daddy

Happy Birthday to daddy. He had to work on his special day so we made him a super awesome breakfast instead of taking him to dinner. The kids had so much fun helping!

Free stuff to do with the kids this week

So, this year there was no free summer Wrap at school with all of the budget cuts and all so, I needed to figure out what I was going to do with the kids. I decided I would try to plan a few fun FREE things to do with them. I'd like to plan one fun family attraction day per month as well. If you would like to join us or if you find some cool, free, fun stuff to do let me know. The more the merrier. I will be starting a facebook group for all who are interested. If we're not friends on facebook feel free to add me at Shawna Hernandez

Here are some ideas for our big family fun attraction days Some are free and some are low cost. To keep our costs even lower we can carpool and pack lunches for these events:

LA Zoo
Museum of Science and Industry
The LaBrea Tar Pits & Natural History Museum
Splash Water Park

If you know of any super fun attractions for the kids please let me know.

Here's what's happening around here this week 6/16 - 6/22.....

Tuesday and Wednesday 6/18 and 6/19 $1 movies at Edwards cinema at the Long Beach Towne Center
The Three Stooges PG @10:00am
Ice Age: Continental Drfit PG @10:00am

Thursday 6/20 FREE movie at Granada Beach (Bring mosquito repellent)
 Escape from Planet Earth @7:30pm

Friday 6/21 FREE Fridays at the Long Beach Museum of Art
Friday 6/21 (This field trip will cost) Monsters University opens

The Beach is always FREE!
FREE Sunday's at the Museum of Latin American Art in Long Beach

The Following week 6/23 - 6/29

 Monday 6/24 The Grunion Run 
Cost is $5 for adults and $1 for kids
 

Tuesday and Wednesday 6/25 and 6/26 $1 movies at Edwards cinema at the Long Beach Towne Center
Diary of a Wimpy kid: Dog Days PG @10:00am
Parental guidance PG @10:00am

Friday 6/28 FREE Lego exhibition in Glendale

Friday 6/28 FREE Fridays at the Long Beach Museum of Art

Friday 6/28 FREE Family Movie Night at Cottonwood Church in Los Alamitos
Family movie night featuring "Despicable Me"!
Free admission and popcorn.
Ice cream and drinks will be sold for $1 each.

Saturday 6/29 FREE Pirate invasion at Belmont Pier

The Beach is always FREE!
FREE Sunday's at the Museum of Latin American Art in Long Beach
The First week of July 6/30 - 7/6


Tuesday and Wednesday 7/2and 7/3 $1 movies at Edwards cinema at the Long Beach Towne Center
Mr. Popper Penguins PG @10:00am
Alvin and the Chipmunks:Chipwrecked G @10:0am

Wednesday 7/3 FREE Movie in the Park at Recreation Park
Rise of the Guardians @Dusk 7:30 (Bring mosquito repellent)

Wednesday 7/3 (This field trip will cost) Despicable Me 2 Opens!!

Friday 7/5 FREE Fridays at the Long Beach Museum of Art

The Beach is always FREE! 
FREE Sunday's at the Museum of Latin American Art in Long Beach

One year without Grandma

I sat behind a woman at church last night that had a hair do just like my grandmas. She was about the same size as my grandma and was wearing pink. It was no coincidence. God knew I needed to see her.

At Midnight last night a year ago she left her broken, sick body and her spirit went to be where it was meant to be..with the Lord walking and talking and being able to fellowship with our beautiful Lord God. This has been the roughest year of my life. I never knew what it was like to lose someone that meant everything to me and I have come a long way but, I know I have a long way to go. I miss her sooo much and can't wait for the day when we'll see each other again.

 I thank God for that little comfort he gave me last night. It really was a special moment for me.

Depression, Anxiety...what??

So much has happened in this past year. I haven't blogged because I was so busy with life. I have two other blogs that are work related and for  while work had taken over my life. It has only been since the end of March that my life has been put back on track.

I have learned so much about how I want to live my life and how I don't want to live my life. I now know the most important part of my life should be my walk with God. Without him I am nothing, I can do nothing. I can't lean on my own understanding. I need to lean on him everyday. I now start my morning with him before anything else or my day is just living for whatever happens and not with purpose.

 I never let myself really grieve over my grandma, instead I just dove into work and there started my downfall. It didn't happen all at once, it happened slowly and overtime. I didn't want to deal with grandma passing away, I didn't want to accept it as reality in fact writing this still makes me tear up. Talking about her sometimes makes me cry and I know that is ok now, I know I HAVE to talk about her and remember all of the wonderful, fun times we had and not focus on my own selfishness of wanting her here with me. She suffered so much in the end and no one should have to live that way. I wouldn't want her here with me that way. She is now in heaven with the Lord and is healthy and beautiful.

  I started having what I now know were anxiety attacks. I felt as if I couldn't breathe. It started in December around Christmas. I thought it was because I was sick but, I was also dealing with depression. I wanted to cry for nothing, I just didn't want to be here, I felt like I needed to go outside. I needed to be at the beach even though it was the cold of winter. I couldn't sleep, I didn't understand what was happening to me, why I was having these thoughts.
 I got better physically but, didn't know what was happening so it was never dealt with. In March I had an attack and went to the hospital. After talking to some family, I realized what was happening to me. I saw a doctor and saw a therapist. Both wanted to put me on medication but, after talking a bit more the therapist agreed that I could manage it with exercise and mental focus when I felt like I was going to have another attack. According to her anxiety is usually inherited but, I know that I am made in God's image and I rebuke that. I gave my life over to the Lord rather I re-dedicated my life and my focus.

 I had my life so upside down and it needed to be put back in order. God, My husband, My kids then, my work. I have been trying to eat right and work out everyday and I tell you after I work out I feel so good. Yes, the physical part is right in fact, doctors say that exercise is the only thing that they know works 100% and it has made such a difference.

 I know people don't always talk about this sort of thing but, I tell everyone I know because I don't want others to have to go through it. If this just helps one person then, I have done my job.
Everyday is a gift to me now. I try to make the most out of it and enjoy my family and life so much more. I am so thankful to my mom and dad who prayed for me and pray for me everyday. My husband has been so amazing and my heart has been filled with so much more love for him. He has taken such good care of me when I couldn't take care of myself. Our lives are so good right now because our love for God is first in both of our lives.

 We have never been happier. All through our marriage there have been highs and lows and now both of us have probably gone through one of the lowest places in our lives and come out of it stronger and closer then ever.

 Yes, we are happy but, we are human and we still have our struggles but, we now know that God is in control of it all. I don't worry like I use to because I know God has a plan. I listen and look to Him for the answers and stop trying to figure it all out on my own. God is so awesome, he has made these huge changes in us and in my kids in such a small amount of time. Our lives can no longer be lived for ourselves but rather they are lived for Him and His Glory.

Grandmas Burial at Sea

Today was bittersweet. It was the day we laid grandma to rest in the Sea. It was a cool, cloudy morning filled with anticipation of what was to come. All of the immediate family was there. we gathered and chatted but, I couldn't really talk about her out loud to anyone. I know that if I do then, it makes it more and more real that she's gone.
 I know she is no longer suffering and she is in a better place a place made by the Lord but, It doesn't mean that I won't miss her. That is what I'm most sad about, my own selfishness, my own feeling of missing her. I don't know how to feel. I know I should feel happy that she isn't suffering anymore but, I just feel sad and broken hearted. I feel like there is an emptiness in my chest that aches when I think about her which, is everyday. There are moments randomly in the day where something so insignificant will make me think of her and I fell that sadness again. I can't sleep because as soon as I close my eyes I see her in my memories. When my mind is suppose to be winding down from the day Grandma fills my thoughts.
 I'm not sure how to move on from here. Everyone says it gets easier but,right now I'm so far from that I just can't see it. It's all just so fresh. I can't let her go yet. I'm not ready to let her go. I love her so much, so much more than I ever realized I did. You don't really know what someone means to you until they are taken away from you. People may think that I'm emotionless or that I'm cold but the fact is that if I open my mouth to talk about how I feel the floodgates will over flow. I want to scream and be mad and sad and joyful all at once.
 It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair I want to chant and throw a tantrum like a little kid. If I do this enough will God hear me and bring her back to me healed so we can start over? When she was lowered into the Sea I just wanted to jump in with her. Yes, That thought was very strong in my mind. I know it's crazy but, that's how I felt. Why can't we just all go together at the same time? It's such a childish feeling but, that's how I felt. Like a little kid who didn't get her way.
 I'm so happy to have my Aunt, She is such an amazing woman, strong and loving, kind and big hearted. i don't know how she is getting through this. I feel bad for not being able to be strong for her. I should be comforting her not the opposite. Who knew that I was such a big baby. I put on a good fron t I guess, but when it comes down to it, I'm just a big pile of mush.
 I will pray and ask God to fill my heart with peace, to help my let go and to help my get through this. I know he will, I have Faith that he will and I know I will sleep tonight. Peaceful, rest just like my Grandma.

Josh's 5th Grade promotion

This week marks the first in many promotion or graduation ceremonies to come. My big boy Josh is moving on from elementary school to Middle school. He will be attending Rogers in the fall. It has been a long hard road to get here and I pray that God will bless him with maturity, wisdom and clarity of mind so, he will be more than successful in the next chapter of his life.

Grandma Judy

My Grandma was the most beautiful, funny, fantastic woman I ever knew. Everyone knew when Judy had arrived. She was the most perfect, imperfect person. She had a way of saying the most inappropriate things but, it was okay because Judy said it.
 Here are my memories of her
I remember playing in Papa Joe's Raider room and eating cashews and playing at the pool in the backyard.
I remember sitting in the back of the Lemon Tree waiting for her to get off of work and going to the Taco Bell for lunch.
I remember going to the store down the way from the Lemon tree after work and her buying me a little toy every time we went.
 I remember eating the best pickles at the Deli.
I remember her making me a bagel with strawberry jelly.
 I remember her letting me set the tables at the Deli and how it made me feel like a big girl.
I remember her big white Christmas tree in the penthouse condo.
I remember getting to sleep with grandma every time I stayed at her house. Snuggle time was the best.
I remember how Christmas was always so special with her because she made each gift look so beautiful that you didn't want to open it but, just look at it and the stocking was always the best part with each little thing individually wrapped and so pretty.
I remember how she made Easter so special the night before by dying Easter eggs on her kitchen counter, then waking up to a HUGE Easter basket put together by her and wrapped so beautifully.
 I remember her teaching me to play Gin Rumie but, now I forget.
I remember her slot machine in the house.
I remember her big giant glass filled with matchbooks.
 I remember her taking care of Rico's mom.
I remember her taking care of Rico.
I remember moving into her house in the desert and her making me a steak dinner with a twice bake potato for dinner that I would eat when I got off of work at midnight.
 I remember her amazing tacos that my kids now think are my amazing tacos.
I remember her teaching me how to make her Vodka with a splash of Squirt.
I remember her always carrying a pink lipstick with her.
I remember she told me to wear pink lipstick because it was flattering on everyone.
I remember her yelling at me because my cat Caruso pooped and made the whole house stink.
I remember her telling me that the flying desert roaches were called date bugs.
I remember her driving in two lanes at night and she would swear she was driving in one.
I remember her big hair, and makeup always done before I woke up.
I remembered not to bug her during her stories aka soap opera.
 I remember her going to sleep to the loud television every night and having to go into her room and turn it off so I could sleep.
I remember her snoring so loud she kept me awake anyway.
I remember her yelling at me to wake up because I was wasting the day away sleeping.
I remember needing to leave the desert and not giving her enough time, which I now know hurt her feelings and feeling so bad about it.
 I remember when she told me about meeting Jim online and how cool I thought that was.
I remember taking my babies to visit her and how much she loved them.
I remember forcing her to go to the living desert with us and she could barely walk without needing to catch her breath. That was the beginning of the end but, I had no idea.
I remember talking with her and how in love with her I felt. She could always make me feel so loved no matter what.
 I remember her singing happy birthday to me over the phone.
I remember how she taught me how to practice my cursive so my handwriting ended up looking like hers.
I remember how she always wanted to talk to Gracie on the phone but, they never understood each other. I would have to translate.
I remember her playing card games on the computer.
I remember her not feeling good but, insisting on us getting in the pool and having ice cream.
I remember all of the close calls and driving out to the to see her though them.
I remember her yelling "JIIIIIIMMMM" every time she needed something.
I remember the last time I saw her and hoping she would make it till the kids got out of school so we could spend our summer week with her.
 I remember she asked me when I was going to lose weight and then saying "probably when I do too" and laughing!!
I remember that was the first time we took a picture with her and she wasn't wearing her pink lipstick.
I remember that she always gave the best hugs and kisses. I just didn't know that this time would be my last hug and kiss.
I remember so much more and will one day reminisce with her in Heaven.
She was the most perfect Grandma anyone could have ever asked for and my heart aches for her hugs and kisses. I will wear my pink lipstick and think of her every time I do. I remember so much more but, it hurts too much to continue. I love you Grandma Judy, no one will ever replace you or that part of my heart. I know you are preparing a place for us and we will one day be together again. Thank You for your unconditional love I can only hope to be as amazing as you were and are to me.

Read my post from last year at this time here